respecting your parents: the gray between idolatry and God

gospel reference: exodus 20: 1-17
based on the sermon/series: a christian's response to ancestral worship
enlightened at: lighthouse evangelism woodlands

what happens there is a conflict of religious views within a family - especially in a chinese family where many traditions are still being practiced today? do we as christians follow in these practices to honour our parents as in the fifth commandment? or do we refuse to "bow or worship" any "idols" as in the second commandment? the answer is to find a compromise - not of our christian faith but - between what is right, what is wrong and what is extreme. for simple understanding here are a few examples of what is acceptable and what is not:

1. bowing or kneeling to ones' parents at a tea ceremony during a wedding - acceptable
the act of bowing or kneeling to ones' parents is not a form of worship but rather as a form of honouring ones' parents. in fact, the act of bowing is also common in japanese culture as a form respect and greeting (doesn't mean you worship your japanese friends right?).

2. exchanging mandarin oranges with relatives during chinese new year - acceptable
mandarin oranges are meant to symbolise prosperity and thus the ritual of exchanging mandarin oranges during chinese new year to wish one another prosperity and good fortune. however, the exchange is done as a sign of well wishing and respect to the relatives - not as an act of worship to them. in fact, the whole celebration of chinese new year is based on chinese mythology but we still celebrate it all the same don't we? and besides, don't we eat oranges throughout the year too?

3. burning money or offering joss sticks - unacceptable
while such acts are usually done in honour of ones' deceased family members, these are deeply rooted in the taoist and buddhist religions and often involves various chinese gods.

4. your parent places a statue in your house - acceptable
such a situation is tricky because such statues are usually of gods or idols. the key thing in such a situation is maintaining a respect for your parents and trusting in your own faith. regardless of what the statue may mean to the other person, it represents nothing to you and as long as you do not worship it, it is just that, a statue. throwing it out of the house may be seen as an act of rebellion, not as a child to a parent, but rather as a christian to a non-christian. that said, if the statue was placed in your room, you have the right to reject it.

while the above will not be able to cover every situation, i hope it clarifies things a little. in situations which potentially challenge your faith, before picking a fight with your family or rejecting them straight in the face, ask yourself the following questions:

1) is the request tradition or religious?
2) is going through the act a form of worship to any idols?
3) is allowing someone else to carry out the act (as in situation 4 above) an indication that you worship any idols?

there are always gray areas when there is a conflict of religious views within a family and it is always easy to overreact. just remember this, we worship only one God and our God wants us to honour our parents. allowing common sense to prevail shows off the graciousness of a christian and when you are gracious enough, God will work out a way for you and your family.